


Nervous

by echoingsentiment (xAradarsi)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff, rosemary, slight sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 23:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAradarsi/pseuds/echoingsentiment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's okay to be nervous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nervous

**Author's Note:**

> A gift fic for sula-day on tumblr. Cross posted on my tumblr echoingsentiment as well.

The first time you saw her you thought she was gorgeous. Your breath literally escaped you as your eyes traveled her body. It wasn’t just her looks that got you going. The more she talked and the more you listened, the more attractive she grew. Your friendship grew slowly. The first time you talked to her you were so nervous that your palms were sweaty and you could feel your heartbeat beating out of your chest. She was the author of some of your favorite books. And you couldn’t wait to meet her.

You had driven for three hours out of your day to see her. To get her to sign the book that you loved so much. In a way you felt as if you had known her through the pages of her writing. She was the same age as you, yet she seemed so much more than just her age. She was wise, and had a presence like no one else you had ever met. If you had to put a phrase to her presence, you would say elegant.

Your first meeting was not the best.

You were in the bathroom freaking out about possibly meeting her when she stepped in as well. She looked almost sick, but you weren’t sure with what. She looked at you and smiled, sensing how nervous you were. “I hope you are as nervous as I am.” She smiled at you softly, but you couldn’t find your words to respond. Here was your idol in front of you and you couldn’t even say your own name.

“I always get nervous before I do readings. I know I seem like such a strong and steady person, but it’s still a little unsettling to be relied on so much.” She smiled at you again, and then looked at her watch. “Oh. I have to get to the reading. I’m sorry for bothering you. I hope you’ll come to the reading. I’m Rose. I—“ “Ms. Lalonde, it’s time for you to go on are you coming?” “Oh shit. I’m coming!” She looked frightened for a moment, but turned to you with such grace that you were blinded by beauty. “Sorry I’ve got to go. Come see me after the reading okay? I’ll buy you something for listening to me ramble.”

You were so shocked you weren’t sure what to do. You felt like crying, you felt like jumping for joy, you felt like throwing up. Which you proceeded to do into the nearest stall before realizing that you were missing the reading.

And yet as you listened to her voice, soft and sweet luring you into her world, you grew more and more aware of how attached you felt to this woman. A woman you didn’t know. Your heart skipped a beat when she finally saw you in the audience and her eyes lit up and she smiled, giving you a soft nod. The woman you so longed to know had acknowledged your presence. How could you even compare to her? You weren’t sure what to do, but before you knew it the reading was over and people were dispersing.

Yet she was walking towards you. Your goddess was walking towards you and you had no idea what to say or how to respond. “Sorry I forgot to catch your name earlier. I’m Rose Lalonde. It’s nice to meet you…uhm?” She paused waiting for you to fill in the blank and at that moment your own name escaped you. Her eyes were so full of wonder and excitement. Her smile grew as you fumbled for your words. “I’m Kanaya. Kanaya Maryam.”

Her eyes did a soft dance and she laughed lightly. “It’s nice to meet you. Say, would you like to get coffee with me? It’s the least I can do for bothering you in the bathroom.” She doesn’t let you say no before taking your hand and leading you to the nearest coffee shop. It takes you a while to actually get comfortable, but before you know it the two of you are talking like old friends. You both discuss literature, film, art, music, anything that you could think of. Before you know it the day has passed and you’ve been sitting there for almost three hours talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

She leaves with a smile, and gives you her number so you can call her. She types it in your phone with a smile, before handing it back to you and leaving with a wave.

You couldn’t bring yourself to call her.

Your second meeting was by chance. You’d long forgotten you had her number tucked away in your phone. You were rushing trying to get to your gate on time. You had to get to the right flight or else you’d miss the plane that would take you to your internship as a fashion designer. You were running down the airplane halls suitcase in tow, looking frantically for your gate when you ran into someone.

She liked to call it fate.

“I’m sorry!” You had rushed at once trying to pick up fallen papers, and books, and you had all but picked everything up before you realized who it was. Yet she knew who you were. She smiled, her violet eyes lighting up with a mysterious glimmer. “You never called.” She didn’t even miss a beat. Your face flushed, red filling your cheeks as you tried to think of an answer, but you couldn’t find one. Instead she smiles at you and asks, “Care for a cup of coffee?” It doesn’t register in your mind that your flight just left without you.

You spend the next four hours talking to her before leaving on a second plane in first class thanks to her talk with the airport.

She called you first.

You had almost forgotten that you had given her your number when one day during your internship you got a call. You didn’t even look before answering the phone, expecting it to be a client. “Kanaya?” You almost dropped your phone when you recognized the voice. She chuckled as if she could see you, your face flushed, unable to think of the right words. “So I was in town where you have your internship. I was hoping we could get coffee. I want to see some of your designs. I think I’d like you to design my dress for the upcoming award ceremony.”

She comes to pick you up in a car designed for rich people.

You leave the moment she comes up to you.

The coffee was bad, the conversation was great, and you walked away with a design order and a ticket to the award show, sitting right next to her. You were on cloud nine the next few days, easily pumping out her dress and your own with enough time to meet up for coffee in-between the days.

You caught yourself texting her at work.

She didn’t mind.

The first time you kissed was a complete shock. She was more than a little tipsy, after the awards show she had more than had enough to drink. You were smiling and helping her back to her car, gently walking her down a flight of stairs, when she stopped you. She didn’t say anything. She just looked at you, her eyes drilling into your, a smile on her face. And then the lightest brush of her lips against yours. For a moment you thought it was just a trick of your mind before she smiled and whispered. “Come home with me.”

When she asked you out the next morning over coffee, you thought you would have a heart attack.

You told her so and she smiled and said that you were cute.

You begged to differ.

You first made love after she lost her mother.

It was the first time you had ever seen her so distraught. Her eyes were no longer sparks of happiness. She seemed lost and alone, with nowhere and no one to turn too. Her cheeks were speckled with tears, her eyes bloodshot, and her body exhausted. You had no idea what to do other than to try and soothe her with a song. And so you played the piano for her, and she silently let the tears fall as you continued to play until she stopped you.

There were no words. She simply leaned up and kissed you, lips wet with tears. Your eyes drifted shut and she leaned into you, opening her mouth and letting herself go. The touches were soft, fragile, and you moved soundlessly from kissing, to making love. She was quiet in the bed, something you didn’t expect, but the gentle tug of your hair as you explored her was all you needed to know she was enjoying herself.

The next morning she asked you to move in with her.

You happily agreed.

The first time you said I love you was after you got jealous.

She was spending so much time with her producer, who was more than attractive. He had everything you didn’t. Especially being that he was a man and could give her things you could not. It happened suddenly. You saw him kiss her outside the door one night. Instantly you saw red and opened the door, pulling her inside and shutting him out. She looked at you with a sad look, instantly knowing your pain.

You weren’t good enough. She had found someone else. She was going to leave you after all that you’d been through. But you couldn’t blame her because you weren’t property you hadn’t even said you loved her and so that’s what you did. You let out a shaking sob and you looked her in the eyes and you said, “I love you, don’t leave.” Her eyes softened and she pulled you close running her fingers through your hair and whispering soft things that you don’t remember.

You do remember her saying, “I’ll never leave you. I love you.”

You got married at a book store.

She was introducing her new book. A book based solely on meeting you. She hadn’t let you read it yet, but you were interested none the less. Since you had gotten together you’d become a famous designer, she proposed at the awards ceremony for her second book. You’d said yes instantly. And now it was full circle. You met in this bookstore. You were getting married here. You didn’t care what was being said. You couldn’t focus on that. You could only focus on her eyes, looking into yours with such love. The feel of her hands beneath yours. Her smile that was so radiant and beautiful to you and so many others.

But she was yours and that was all that mattered.

That night you would never forget.

You read her book on a whim. She said she didn’t want you to read it, but the more you got into the book, the more you realized that she was just like you. When you met she had felt the same things, felt the same way. And reading it your love for her burst into something much more than that. Something indescribable. As you finished the last page, she softly opened the door to your apartment.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

You smiled at each other as she put up her coat and came to sit down next to you. She looked at you for a moment, hand curling into yours before glancing at the book. “You read it?” You nodded softly and she blushed lightly. “I told you not too.” You chuckled lightly, kissing the top of her forehead. “You didn’t really expect me to not read it did you?” At this she laughs before you both fall silent. These moments are the moments you love most. You don’t have to talk constantly to feel safe with her.

“Hot Chocolate?” She turns to you with a smile and you nod. She kisses you briefly and you watch her slink away from you into the kitchen to get hot chocolate. You suppose that this was what was destined for you. And you’ve come to learn that sometimes destiny brings good things.

“Marshmallows?”

You hear her call from the kitchen and you shout out a response that she laughs at.

You suppose that you are glad that you were nervous in that bathroom stall.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started out as just a drabble and then got away from me. I was so emotionally drained after this that I wasn't sure if I was going to post it or not. I don't write a lot of Rosemary, and I don't publish a lot of my fics because I'm self-conscious. Yet here I am posting this. I hope you enjoyed, and for more drabbles and the like check my tumblr echoingsentiment.


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